Okay, I can't believe it's been a couple months since I blogged. Of course, Christmas is usually busy and hectic. And then I have to continue my school work. I haven't been writing devotionals recently, either. Though I have attempted one this week. My school is currently still on Christmas break, and I am catching up on things that I used to do before I began school. I am still studying, but it is more of a review of what I have learned. I have to do something school related. Otherwise, it will be even harder to get back into the routine.
I believe 2014 is going to be the year of change for me. I graduate April 6. It is just getting to be a reality for me. Can I help it if I am getting excited and am counting down the months? The great thing about the school is that they help with career placement. I think I am more excited about going through that than I am about graduating!
For those who know me personally know that I work with children. These past few months have really been hard financially, as I am now part time. However, I am not complaining, because I am devoting more time for school. Jesus has His hand on my life, and I am depending on Him for my every need.
I have been in day care for 13 years this month (January). That is a long time to devote my life to one career. I love children. I always have. Children are precious and fun and so much joy. However, for the past few years, I have felt my passion for child care waning. I knew that the Lord was calling me to something else. I just didn't know what.
Then the online school happened one day when I was off sick. I was applying for jobs, and clicked the box that said I'd be interested in career training and educational opportunities. The school called a few minutes later. It all happened so quickly, but I have felt the Lord's hand in it every single moment. I prayed about it as the guy was talking. My words? "Lord, I need an answer. NOW, please! Because everything in me wants to do this!" The more I learned about the school, the more I felt the Lord. He wanted me in school, and He wanted me in this one.
I know the time in day care is coming to a close. I am relieved, but I am also sad. I will miss the children. My last day will be with great sadness but also with great joy and excitement. I am sure that I will be crying the whole time. Not because I don't want to leave, but because the grieving will come. I will be saying goodbye to a career that I have enjoyed and loved for so many years.
I am fearful that just maybe, I won't be able to find a job and that the time with the career placement will come to a close. The part time is only until the end of the school year, and I may not be working through the summer. If I allow it, the fear will conquer me and paralyze me. I will most likely suffer a panic attack. When I feel anxious about the future, I have to remind myself Who is in control of my life. It's not me! If it was, I'd be accepting the first job that came along. Jesus has never once left me in need, and He will continue to provide for me. When I stop to remember that Jesus has my back, and I seek His presence, then I am filled with peace and joy once again.
I know I have said it before, but I will say it again. My time with the kids is ending quickly. I am excited about this new stage in my life. For one, I will be moving. Second, I will be going through the process of adopting a child through the Foster to Adopt program. God will not let me alone about adoption. I know He has the perfect son or daughter for me. Have I mentioned that I would like a son first, and then a daughter? The Lord has promised me a child, and I know He will fulfill His promises. In fact, every day, I am more convinced that He is about to move. Even if I don't adopt a child right after I get approved, at least I will be ready. God has prepared me for this next move, and He will continue to work in my life now, tomorrow, and in the future.
If I may ask, please pray for me. I need all the prayer that I can get. I need His guidance and His peace.